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God, Death and Grief

Monday, March 26, 2018

I'm not sure if my readers remember me posting about losing my mom to a car accident back in 2014. I think the worst of my grief is over but the grief isn't really over. I don't think grief is something that people can overcome so quickly, even if the relationship with the deceased was a complicated one. Every season, every life event, every normal day brings up something that makes you think of your loved one and you have to deal with the loss all over again, in different ways and in different varying degrees of pain.

This weekend, there was a pretty serious accident involving a teenage girl and another vehicle that hit her head on. Her car caught fire and she was pulled from the wreckage by two passerby and later rushed to the hospital with serious injuries. She will need several surgeries but, as of now, seems she will make it. Her family has been posting updates on FB and many people are stepping forward to offer their thoughts and prayers, many other good intention people are saying, "God was really looking out for her!"

One thing that really irritates me, especially when it comes to people referring to individuals that have been in accidents, especially very serious ones is where people that are offering their thoughts and prayers to said individual, go on to say, "God was really looking out for them!" As someone that struggles with grief and loss of someone in a car accident, hearing that they were simply saved because God was looking out for them in that moment, it implies that your loved one was not saved because God did not deem their worthy of saving or worthy of paying attention to intervene to save them.

In my opinion, I think this further makes the surviving loved one already struggle with their faith, especially in their moment of need. For someone that is grieving, especially after a loved one has died tragically, to hear others lamenting about how great they are that God saved them makes their grief worse. They are now grieving a loved one that they now consider not worthy of divine grace.

While I'm not saying that everyone cannot speak about divine love and intervention. I think it's important to note, to find a new way to say it. A more simple divine praise would suffice, something more general. You never know who is watching/reading/listening and your words, while good intentioned might actually cut someone rather deep, especially someone newly deep into the grieving process.

As someone that believes everyone is worthy, and that sometimes bad things just happen to good (and bad) people, I think it really goes against what the divine is all about.

Offer your prayers and your kind words, but know everyone is worthy.


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